On September 3rd I was two miles into a six mile run when it finally struck me why I had been struggling with some mild depression the prior week or two. It was time to go back to school and time to start coaching cross country and I had no where to go.
As I said, I had been experiencing some mild depression, mild anxiety and had felt angry or irritated by things that usually wouldn't bother me. Both the anger and the anxiety are usually sure signs that something is wrong with me and despite the fact that I know it I can't always simply "fix it". Fortunately for the most part when I do figure out what is causing it then it does become fairly easy to fix. Thinking back, as well as reading old journals I realized that it was, "that time of year again". That time of year when I have feelings that I can't really figure out where they are coming from and it has been going on for the past ten years. "That time of year" in my case is early September when school and cross country are restarting; early to mid February when track is starting and early to mid July for other reasons brought on by unpleasant memories.
The good news as I said is that once I've identified the problem I can take steps to resolve it. Some of those steps are:
*Stay Active - even though I often find myself more tired than usual during these times I have to remember to make myself get out and do things. (As I said, the resolution this time actually came during a run).
*Don't deny the feelings - People often want you to just "shake it off", "get over it", "move on" and it is easy for them to say because they don't know what you or I am going through.
*Embrace the feelings and do what needs to be done to deal with them appropriately and move on. Believe it or not writing this blog post is another thing that I do to help.
*Honor the feelings by admitting them to yourself - Another way to avoid denying the feelings or trying to minimize their impact on you and your life.
*Do not let other people tell you how you should feel - They are your feelings and you have a right to feel them and deal with them. Hopefully it will get easier each time the arise and maybe eventually they will no longer return.
*Share - It is important to have at least one person in your life to talk with when you are struggling and having difficulty dealing with feelings and figuring out where they are coming from.
*Pray - Some days the only thing you can do is pray for some relief and put the feelings on the back burner until you are ready to deal with them.
Those are some of the steps that I have taken throughout the years and each of them is important to me and my mental health. We can't minimize the importance of maintaining mental health to having a balanced and healthy life. I don't know if anyone reading this will benefit from what I've written but it has helped me to further resolve some issues by writing about it.
I have to remind myself from time to time that when I retired from teaching and coaching I gave up a part of my life that has always been important to me and just like any loss there have to be steps of dealing with it. One of those steps is to admit that it is a loss and deal with it as such. Something that was a part of my life for almost 50 years, school and teaching, and over 30 years, coaching, is gone and it isn't easy to replace. While I have accepted it on a conscious level and have worked to move on in healthy ways obviously subconsciously things are stirred up every year at this time and the quicker I recognize what it is the better off I am.
It goes without saying that reading and running are two of the things that I use to have a fuller life and both of those played a part in getting out of this period of "Back to School Blues". I ran a race in Ripon on Labor Day weekend and then this past week I took out my book list notebook and headed to a nice used book store that we have in Turlock. I considered both to be *Mental Health Days another thing that I believe are necessary to being healthy.
Even when I'm feeling down being around the running community can have a real positive impact on my spirits. It was a beautiful day even though it was a little warm for the race.
And then there was my trip last week to the bookstore in Turlock. It is a nice family owned independant store and I always enjoy going there whether I'm looking for something specific or to just look around. I have found a lot of interesting books in used book stores that I would never have read otherwise.
Bottom line, we're all going to have rough spots from time to time and the more prepared we are for them the easier it is to get through them and in many cases come out the other side better because of them.
If I could wish family and friends a life with no rough spots that is what I would do but since that's impossible then hopefully the next best thing is to share how I get through some and maybe offer some ideas that others will find helpful.
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